Definitely Not Official Adult Pokemon Toys Include Free Trading Cards

Pokemon has released officially branded versions of just about everything, from toilet paper to Hershey’s Kisses. This latest product is most definitely not official, though. The collection is called Pokemoan, and it turns Pokemon’s four most iconic monsters into adult toys.

No, I am, unfortunately, not making any of this up. In a move that feels like it will be set upon by Nintendo lawyers before I finish writing this sentence, Pokemoan is an unofficial line of adult toys inspired by the designs of Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, and, of course, Pokemon’s mascot, Pikachu.

Meet The Pokemoan Crew

Much like the range itself, the toys all have pun-like names that are indicative of the Pokemon from which their designs pull inspiration. There’s the Bulbypulse, the Charmybuzz, the Squirtyblast, and the Pikyplug. All serve different functions, and all of them come with limited-edition trading cards.

These Toys Come With Trading Cards

Yes, that’s right, even the sex toy industry can’t escape the overwhelming demand for Pokemon cards. The cards look like regular old Pokemon cards at first glance. However, upon closer inspection, you’ll see that their artwork features the toys. There are five to collect - one for each of the four toys - and then a fifth dubbed Master Bedroom, which features the whole funky bunch.

If this rather untraditional way of catching ‘em all appeals to you, then the whole range will be available to buy through the Geeky Sex Toys website starting at 7 pm ET on Tuesday, July 21. The toys’ typical MSRP of $200 will be reduced to $169 for a limited time, while the Pikyplug costs anywhere between $69 and $100, depending on how big you want it to be. Every toy will come with a free copy of its respective trading card.

If you want all of the cards and all of the toys, then you’ll have to buy the whole Pokemon Collection for $399. Only 151 of them will ever be made - an homage to how many Pokemon were a part of Gen 1. That means once they’re sold out, they’re gone forever. It also means that the Master Bedroom card is going to be a lot rarer than most real Pokemon cards.

While this might seem like the sort of thing that would draw the ire of Nintendo’s lawyers faster than you can say “Wait, who is that Pokemon?”, the same company released similar toys ten years ago without getting into trouble. There’s also a toy that is very clearly supposed to be Link’s Master Sword currently available on its website, which Nintendo either has no knowledge of or doesn’t care about. Hey, if it's the latter, the toy and The Legend of Zelda's 40th anniversary have that in common.